Reconcilliation amongst the sakura petals
by cream tea anyone
Summary: When it's all over, who do you want there? who can you turn to? how do you define the indefinable? A post soul society story feauturing Renji & Rukia. Chapter 2 finally posted
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to my new fic! This is my first (published) for the bleach fandom so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.**

**My muse has been dragging this around my head for a while but I finally got it onto paper!**

**A quick thank you to my lovely beta reader reflecting!**

**Disclaimer: alas, no matter how often I ask, nobody will lend me the money to buy BLEACH :( **

**Chapter 1**

The bench is made from a simple, pale wood devoid of thick dark knots, only the best was suitable when it was commissioned, the carpenter was strictly forewarned. The surface was graced by a deep engraving of five-petal flowers which, despite the abrasive nature of the engraving managed to seem silken and soft. Running your fingers over its surface was to truly experience the oxymoron of the honeyed, smooth, cool wood and the absence of anything where the pattern dove away. The bench itself is situated in a truly stunning garden, intricate in its utter simplicity. In the spring that this scene takes place it is pregnant with the promise of new life, new beginnings, hope, and a hot, sticky and pleasantly scented summer. At the time I am describing to you, on the bench resides a figure, tall, slim with straight, long dark hair, dark eyes and an impossible sense of regal poise. Like the garden he seems at first sight so simple but that simplicity is hiding millions of intricacies. And his dark eyes which at first feign detachment and arrogance hide sadness, fear and hope. He sits, impossible still as the gentle breeze washes over him, playfully worrying the ends of his midnight blue kimono and gently teasing sections of his hair. But he is not alone…

Across the garden there is a cherry tree, members of the staff who work in the household that own this garden often whisper that it was planted many hundreds of years ago, the real members of the household scoff at this ridiculous notion: who's impressed by hundreds of years, there are captains older than that! But the fact remains that the tree is well known, its beautiful blossoms were close to blooming, the servants whisper, when the late Lady Hisana died. But on the day I am telling you of, the boughs are occupied by a slender young woman, wearing a fine silk kimono, palest pink to match the sakuras with intricately detailed patterns of pure shining white butterflies and soft lace-like patterns. Her feet swinging slightly as she revels in the soft breeze tossing her wayward dark hair about her face as she bites greedily into a sweet plum she stole from the kitchen whilst she looks out through the blossoms across seretei.

Below her an extremely tall redhead walked through the gardens, admiring the views, appreciating just how far he'd come but also dwelling on how far away he was. The place this power had over him was phenomenal, it made him want to renounce everything he had, exchange every great leap he'd made, the titles he'd achieved if only it would take him beneath its wing and hold him close. Weave him into its rich and powerful tapestry of nobility, power and pride. And he hangs his head stopping bellowing the cherry tree, shifting his weight to one side and leaning, his hip balancing his lean form about the trunk.

He deigns to look upwards and his previous thoughts disappear as he spies her: childhood friend, star, nobility (by adoption), and the woman he's loved for as long as he can remember. The lines between every definition of what she means to him have blurred until the only word that can sum her up is, quite simply, 'Rukia'.

He ponders on the time he's spent trying to catch that butterfly, to hold that goddamn star close. To be with the girl who can talk like a man; swear like a trooper; kick, punch, bite, scratch and fight with the best of 'em; but who always manages to retain this untouchable air of dignity- the only thing that allowed her to transform from street urchin to trainee shinigami to a fully fledged member of the gotei 13 and Kuchiki household.

Lost in her own deep thoughts Rukia doesn't notice him below her. She remembers the events of the last few months, her involvement with Ichigo, the botched execution, the betrayal of Aizen Sosuke, the fact that her brother truly cares about her. Perhaps most importantly, the renewal of contact with her best friend from Rukongai, something brewing between her and Renji, not borne of necessity but out of something else, what she isn't quite sure yet. Memories of him holding her with suffocating tightness to his chest- close enough to feel as well as hear his heartbeat mix with the blood pounding in her ears, close enough to feel the deep ridges of his muscles, close enough to feel the conviction with which he was acting. Memories of him swearing to protect her, never to let her go, to die before he gave her up (he wasn't quite true to that, but she's not sure that it matters). And now she's here, alive after everything that's happened to her, alive after Ruknogai, alive after Kaien… She's spent a lot of time in high places (they help her think) trying to figure out what it all means, especially the Renji part. As her gaze moves slowly across the garden she notices the forlorn figure of her brother, alone, and she feels that she understands just a little of what he's feeling.

Byakuya can feel Rukia's eyes upon him, he's also very aware of his fukitaichou's presence in his and Hisana's formerly private garden (he can't bear to think of it like that since she... ) He can't be bothered to scold either of them though, something of the combination of his motives for her adoption, his admiration of how far Renji went to protect her, and a sense of warped peace that it is all out in the open (that Hisana is finally, truly at rest). Hisana's power over him knew no bounds: she made him break the rules, made him fall in love, made him care. For that he will never forgive her, nor will he forget her, breaking the promise to keep her secret from Rukia, it was wrong in a sense but right in so many others. The two of them alike in so many ways, the smile being the most noticeable similarity, the one he'd move mountains to see (easier said than done, even for him!). He's not an idiot, he knows his fukitaichou's obsessed with his sister, their shared history more than an enough of an excuse, and as for her, he knows what that smile means, and the second he saw her smile at him like that he was forced to accept it. His sister won't be a Kuchiki forever, though he may be able to marry Renji into the family, but it will take time, which thankfully is something they all have. He sighs softly, he's got work to do, Byakuya slowly stands and walks back inside leaving her alone in the Garden with Renji.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there, sorry for the wait. I've finally cracked the writer's block and finished the elusive chapter two! I need to say a huge thank you to matsumama for her help in getting this sorted out, couldn't have done it without your help! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine, I just borrow it to play with once in awhile.

Chapter two

For a while nothing moves: Rukia hardly breathes as she watches her brother's retreating back. The whispering wind grinds to a halt, holding its breath as she was. Nearly loosing the one piece of family she has makes her more anxious. The stage whisper of occasional breeze holds but one word: 'Lucky'. Her chest tightens and her brother slides open the screen door and walks in closing it behind him.

Meanwhile Renji's been watching Byakuya with a certain curiosity, he never quite understood his captain before, in fact he was curious as to whether he was in fact some kind of robot shinigami, a prototype of Nemu that had been created long before he arrived in seretei. Stranger things have happened.

Rescuing Rukia has been pivotal in their relationship, though Renji is sure there's a way to go before he understands anything about his captain. Now he knows about Hisana, he has so many more questions: Did she have the same dazzling smile, the same bright eyes, and the same fighting spirit that Rukia commands? Was that what Byakuya fell for, the same way he did?

It makes his captain almost human, to have loved and lost, just like him. Renji isn't sure if his love is lost forever though. There's a ray of hope sliding through, like the light pushing through the leaves leaving a soft dappling of light on the ground.

A soft sound, like a sigh, rings out through the silent garden and he wonders if the tree is listening to his thoughts, pausing with him. A wave of curiosity breaks on him, soft yet with a strong undercurrent and he looks upwards. And behold there she is, object of his affections, confusing factor of his life, the missing piece of his puzzle. He smirks and swings an arm up to a low branch and pulls himself up the tree, to the branch she's cradled in.

The sudden rustling of leaves and shaking of the sakura petals to fall like flower shaken from a sieve close by disturbs Rukia from watching the silent echo of her brother closing the screen door. The branch she's balanced on shakes and she digs her short nails into the bark, grasping it tightly with her hands as the bark leaves deep imprints on her pale skin. A swash of red hair tied loosely back quickly identifies the cause.

"Renji!"

"Rukia"

She smiles brightly as he swings onto the branch below hers, their heads are oddly level, something that she really can't remember occurring since just after they first met (Renji grew faster than her). She absentmindedly curses that she was so distracted and remains so weakened that she didn't notice his rietsu, but part of her feels its better this way- she's always embraced the unexpected.

"You're here to see Ni-sama"

"No, day off"

"Oh…"

They sit in companionable silence, both relishing this odd opportunity to spend time with one another, it's happened so little in the past forty-odd years. There's an air between them and it's driving Rukia mad: it frustrates and placates her in equal measure. Her pulse has quickened a fraction and she can't think of what to say.

"Rukia…" He stops abruptly, breathes deeply before starting again. "It's nice, sitting like this with you; we haven't spent hardly any time together since the academy."

"That wasn't my fault." She regrets the words the second they leave her lips, seeming so much harsher, and so much colder hanging in the air between them: like frozen droplets on a windowpane, shiny but fiercely cold. She watches his face fall, brow furrowing heavily tattooed eyebrows slanting in a way that reminds her of Ichigo so much she wants to laugh and cry together. The guilt washes over her and she feels the crystal raindrops fall, hears them shatter, a piercing shimmer of sound. She has to talk fast, make it right- the words tumble from her lips like snow from mountains when the avalanche breaks

"Sorry Renji, that... wasn't fair..."

"I don't know, it sound about right," She glances up to see his face, eyes saddened and mouth tugged down at the corners. "I shouldn't have let you get so far away, not when I wasn't sure I could get you back..."

His words send shivers down her spine, tiny thrills of electricity tracing each vertebra in split seconds, raising the tiny hairs on the back of her neck, the deep flowing timbre of his voice, lightly stalling, soothing and surprising in equal measure. And suddenly there's a tide of salt water swimming up to sting her eyes and make them shine with regret and years of repressed emotion.

"I wasn't too far..." She can't continue, not while her voice feels like it's going to shatter, taking her heart with it. Not while her vision is blurring with the effort of holding back the tide of tears. She stares deep into his eyes trying to search for answers to questions she doesn't even know she wants to ask.

The all consuming fire behind brown eyes meets the deep drowning depths of deep blue orbs. Her lips part slightly and she feels Sode no Shirayuki stirring within her, bubbling to the surface. Rukia tries to push her back, but the trouble with a reflection of your soul is it tends to follow your character traits, tenacity being a prominent feature.

"Take a chance," She whispers, letting her suggestions creep through Rukia like the frost creeps in late autumn to replace the dew, the cold spreading through her like hypothermia. "Those tears need to be worth something".

And before she can stop the words stumble out of her subconscious and into the space between her and Renji.

"Why did you let me go?" She whispers "I miss you"

They both draw a breath, deep cleansing and filled with fear, broken promises and past mistakes.

"You know, there's not a day where I don't ask myself that"

The words hang in the air, frozen, Rukia's chest feels tighter than ever, and she tries to recall if anyone has ever been suffocated by the sheer force of this inexplicable emotion.

Renji feels like he's going to crack under the heavy atmosphere, Shatter to a million pieces like zabimaru's bankai when he fought Byakuya: for pride, for honour, for Rukia. He's not sure if he'll cope if his heart breaks again, he's spent so long putting it back together, but there's something missing...

And he so badly wants her to fill that missing piece...

And suddenly it hits him, it's now or never...


End file.
